Today, the world is progressing in a fast pace. We see developments in all fields. Even the people who had distanced themselves from all the modern changes have started looking beyond the veil. New customs are accepted as customary and new practices, traditional. But this is only one side of the coin. There is another side where the “Aam Adhmi” does not want to change with the changes. Not that it matters. But not only does he refuse to change, he also criticizes those civilized few who also changed. The recent violence that sparked out on Valentine’s Day speaks a lot about this. One of the many new customs and practices that these so-called “orthodox” people don’t want to accept is the practice of “Living in a relationship”.
Volumes of white have been stained and many a throat has argued itself to dryness on this issue. The main factor that people bring up against this is-“Society”. The fear of what the other man would say if I were to do like this, is making man to fulfill his wishes, whims and fancies within four strong walls, all alone. Practically, there is nothing wrong in two opposite sexes living together without the bond of matrimony. Is marriage really necessary for two people to get along together? This concept really sounds simple and practical. Let’s live together as friends and if we share common interests, let’s get bonded through matrimony. Else let’s continue being friends, only with different spouses. Rather than getting married to a complete stranger, about whom you are yet unaware of, this sounds and is practical and a lot better. Live in relations allow you to be choosy about your spouse, know his/her taste, interests, whims and fancies. It’s a love affair in another form. But it is a much better way than the age old “Stranger Marriage”. This does not mean that I draw lines over the age-old marriage tradition. I just emphasize that the concept of live in relation is not as bad as it is seen.
Tell a man or woman that you are “living” with an opposite sex and suddenly their attitude towards you becomes cold. The usual rigmarole about culture and tradition jumps to the people’s lips even before they actually want it to. Let me ask those gentlemen. What is culture? What is tradition? Show me any scripture, which mentions or at least hints that two people must not live together. These culture, traditions etc… were created by us for a neat way of living. Our ego does not allow us to accept the changes. Just because we do not want to change, we feel that the others who change are foolish. Tradition and culture are just masks that people wear to hide their ego.
Sex is another issue. Does live in relations mean only sex? Or is pre-marital sex wrong by any account? There are lots of other things between man and woman other than sex. And even if this relationship entertains sex, what is wrong? Sex is not something to be shared only by married people. It depends on the interest and willingness of those who are involved. One forgets that marriage is only a ritual. It is just a public announcement that two people are going to live together for life. But this has changed over the years and lots of Indian movies have added sentiment to marriage that people have got it rooted in their mind that relations or sex outside marriage is wrong. They consider it as a sin.
These false conclusions and superstitions have led people to believe that anything other than their normal way of living is dirty and sinful. But as I have said earlier, this is one side of the coin only. The other side thinks in the right way and does everything for its sake and not for the sake of those living around them. Personally, I find nothing to find fault in the concept of live in relations. Of course, nothing is free of fault. But we must realize that if we find something faulty, the source might also have been us for that. So let’s follow our hearts instead of what everyone does and bring a difference, not only in the practice of live in relations, but also in everything deemed useful to mankind.
